||[Jan. 1st, 2011|01:02 pm]
A New year has started this morning, I always get depressed around New Years Eve, bc my mind flip flops from the past to the future, and well the past's pain haunts me, the future's cloudy image scares me. I woke up this morning from 3 really bad dreams, I don't even want to write about them bc I honestly don't want to remember them later. Last night Amy and I did not even speak, I was upset about something she said and well she was upset t me for reacting the way I did.|
I thought we were closer to being together then we really are. When your mind thinks that you are so close to having the one relationship you want, the one feeling that you never want to let go of, the one girl who has taken over your complete heart, It hurts to know that you are not as close as you wished or thought. The only thing I can do is be me, and that includes putting these feelings of pain aside to be the friend I need to be to her.
I just... I love her
I want her to give me the honor of having her hand in marriage, spend the rest of our years making each others dreams come true. That is my dream
sigh...20 days till my Birthday